1. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
2. A day without sunshine is like…, night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99% of Lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
8. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
9. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
10.I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
11.Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
12.A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
13.Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
14.Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
15.Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
16.OK,….. so what’s the speed of dark?
17.How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
18.If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
19.What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
20.Monday is a dreadful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Njoy your Monday:-)